The ottomans believed that the Turks were using their daily caffeine fix as an excuse to discuss political doctrine and plot ways to topple the Ottoman Empire. So, in 1656, the paranoid Ottomans closed down all Turkish coffee houses and banned the consumption of coffee. Coffee drinkers who were discovered feeding their illegal habit were beaten and reoffenders were drowned in the nearest river. So, what we have learned from the caffine deficient Ottomans' misguided attempt to outlaw coffee??
Simply put, a diet with out any coffee/caffine may induce prolonged, paranoid delusions and cause the sufferer to become a real jerk.
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